


The Courtship of Princess Sparkles

by serialkarma



Category: The OC
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 12:39:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4607112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serialkarma/pseuds/serialkarma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yep, in 2015 I'm posting an O.C. fic. And not just any O.C. fic, but a Captain Oats/Princess Sparkles fic. I did that. </p>
<p>Original summary from LJ: if you don't know what "Princess Sparkles" refers to, you might consider it a spoiler for the O.C. tonight. Also, you probably didn't grow up in the 80s. This is completely unbeta'ed, because how could I inflict this on a beta? All mistakes are, thus, obviously mine.</p></blockquote>





	The Courtship of Princess Sparkles

There once was a pony named Captain Oats. He had a brown mane, and long skinny legs with white socks. He was a very nice pony, but he didn't have many friends. In fact, most of the other ponies made fun of him because he didn't look or act like the rest of them. Captain Oats didn't really mind, though, because he thought they were all very stupid.   
  
Except for Princess Sparkles. Princess Sparkles didn't make fun of Captain Oats; she didn't even know he existed, most of the time. When she did notice him, it was mostly to tell him to get out of the way because he was standing on a patch of grass she wanted to eat.   
  
Captain Oats didn't care, though, because he thought Princess Sparkles was the prettiest pony in the entire world. She had a pretty lavender coat, and a long, flowing mane with sparkly bits in it. In fact, she was so pretty that he would forget how to speak or neigh or even move whenever she was nearby.  
  
It was pretty embarrassing.  
  
Then, one day, she brushed by him on her way to get the newest leaves off a hedge he was standing near. But the leaves were high off the ground, and although Princess Sparkles was very pretty, she wasn't very tall. So Captain Oats reached up with his long neck and plucked the leaves down for her. Princess Sparkles looked surprised, but kind of pleased, and as she left with the leaves, she said, "Thanks, Sergeant Straw."  
  
She knew his name!! Well, not really, but it was close enough. Captain Oats wasn't going to be picky.   
  
Over the next few days, they developed a routine. Princess Sparkles would stand near a hedge or tree with leaves that were too high for her to reach, and Captain Oats would come over and pull them down for her. She would always take them and leave, with a breezy "Thanks, Colonel Wheat," or "See you later, Corporal Hay," over her shoulder.  
  
Eventually, Captain Oats got up the nerve to ask her to go for a walk to the stream with him to get a drink of water.  
  
This didn't go so well.  
  
"With you? Ew!" she said.  
  
This made Captain Oats very sad.  
  
But a few days later, as he was standing dejectedly near a tree ("their" tree, had thought of it, because it was the one he brought her leaves from the most often), he heard hoofbeats he would have recognized anywhere behind him. He turned, and there was Princess Sparkles, rubbing one hoof into the dirt and looking at him from under the fringe of her sparkly purple mane.  
  
"So, um, Captain Oats," she said. "I was wondering. I really really want some of the leaves up there, but I can't reach them. Do you think you could help me?" She blinked her big purple eyes at him and tossed her mane back behind her.  
  
There was no way Captain Oats could resist the big purple eyes *and* the mane-tossing. He wasn't a pony of steel, after all.  
  
"Sure, Princess Sparkles," he said. He gave her the biggest, leafiest branch he could break off, and then took a deep breath. "So. Um. You wouldn't maybe want to, uh, go get some water at the stream later, would you?"  
  
It was hard to toss one's mane disdainfully while holding a big, leafy branch between one's teeth, but Princess Sparkles managed to do it. "With you? Ew!" she said, and trotted off.   
  
Captain Oats was very sad again. But as she went away, he saw her turn around, just for a minute, and look at him, before tossing her mane over her shoulder and joining her herd of friends. And then he looked closely at her herd of friends. And then he looked at all the other ponies in the meadow--and he had an idea.  
  
The next morning, he waited by "their" tree, nonchalantly grazing and pretending not to notice Princess Sparkles pretending not to notice him. Eventually, she wandered over into the shade of the tree.   
  
"So, Captain Oats. I was wondering--"  
  
Captain Oats didn't let her finish. He just reached up and plucked off the nearest branch. Then he dropped it on the ground and put his hoof on it to keep it in place. Then he took a deep breath, and gathered all his courage one last time. "I'll help you out one more time, Princess Sparkles, but only if you promise to go for a walk to the stream with me. It's just a walk! That's all! Just a walk to the stream. What do you say?"  
  
Princess Sparkles was indignant. "Captain Oats! If you think you can just *blackmail* me into--"  
  
"Princess Sparkles," Captain Oats interrupted once again. "Look around you for a second. What do I have that none of the other ponies in this meadow do?"  
  
Princess Sparkles frowned for a second, and then turned to look at the herd. Captain Oats looked too, as she realized what had dawned on him yesterday afternoon. There were pink ponies and yellow ponies; ponies with wings and ponies with unicorn horns; sparkly ponies and rainbow ponies; some had short, curly manes and some had long, flowing manes. But--and Captain Oats watched Princess Sparkles' face as the light dawned-- _they were all girl ponies._  
  
Captain Oats was the only one who had--  
  
"So. Captain Oats." Princess Sparkles cleared her throat and turned back to Captain Oats with a toss of her mane. "Would you maybe be interested in taking a walk to the stream for a drink of water?"  
  
"Why Princess Sparkles, I thought you'd never ask," replied Captain Oats. And off they went to the stream together.  
  
And they lived happily ever after.

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, in 2015 I'm posting an O.C. fic. And not just any O.C. fic, but a Captain Oats/Princess Sparkles fic. I did that. 
> 
> Original summary from LJ: if you don't know what "Princess Sparkles" refers to, you might consider it a spoiler for the O.C. tonight. Also, you probably didn't grow up in the 80s. This is completely unbeta'ed, because how could I inflict this on a beta? All mistakes are, thus, obviously mine.


End file.
